Don't beat yourself up too much man I'm going to be 57 soon and it sucks that the libido is going away but we make the best of it when we can...like it's been said youth is wasted on the young
PC Dilemma - Computer Health and Performance
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An0maly_76
Survivor Corn
Don't beat yourself up too much man I'm going to be 57 soon and it sucks that the libido is going away but we make the best of it when we can...like it's been said youth is wasted on the young
Oh, trust me, libido has nothing to do with it for me. While I recognize that people often get together for the wrong reasons and wind up hating each other, and unfortunately I've seen the darkest sides of female vindictiveness, even falsely accused by one as part of a setup to try to get me fired. Drew me a map to show me where she lived then accused me of stalking when I stopped by. Another tried to accuse me of molesting her when I was trying to see her drunk 19-year-old ass safely home. SHE was COMING ON to ME, even groping my junk! If she hadn't been drunk, and this had happened under different circumstances (not in my taxi), I might have considered it. Fortunately when the police got involved, they figured out pretty quick that she was full of shit. Blew a .21 on the breathalyzer. If she hadn't acted a fool and lied to the cops, she probably would have gotten home safe that night without incident. Now she has a B-felony for lying to the cops, and a C-felony for underage drinking.
I've also seen females be far worse than they ever claimed any man ever dared to be about cheating, but when you're with the right person and it's good, you have each other's back, so to speak. That's what I had with this person, but her father felt I wasn't good enough for her, and he got his wish. Interestingly, I returned some pictures of her to her folks about ten years ago, and her mother said the girl was in a bad way after we broke up. I just stood there and said, "Well, that was hardly my decision. But it didn't seem like anyone cared that we were happy together. And it wasn't any easier on me. That's all I have to say."
Don't get me wrong, being single isn't the worst thing in the world, but I think it amplifies the isolation that comes with Asperger's.
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Well that's to bad because it sounds like you both would have benefitted from staying together but I guess parents try and do the best they can at the time. I always told my kids when there was a difficult situation with them that I can't just go to the parent manual and look up what I should do when you do drugs or total your car into someone's house or are bordering on alcoholism....which by the way we faced with our son. My parents wouldn't leave me alone for 15 minutes with my girlfriend/ current wife because they were afraid of teenage pregnancy and my mom actually convinced me to break up with her and date other people, but they never once talked to me about it. Nor did they talk about drugs, alcohol college nothing, guess that's how parents were back then...rule with an iron fist or in my case a wooden spoon. But it was better in the long run as my wife's parents let there kids get away with everything which ended up in there son out every night drinking and then cheating on his wife, their other daughter getting taken advantage of by every boyfriend and doing all kinds of drugs and throw in a hidden abortion. So in rasing our kids we did a hybrid of both and it worked out pretty well now but there are still struggles. You never stop being a parent.
An0maly_76
Survivor Corn
It's worse, though, when you have a special needs child and don't know it, then won't admit it when there's overwhelming evidence.
Also, this girl felt she had to hide the true nature of our relationship from her friends, which didn't help.
Also, this girl felt she had to hide the true nature of our relationship from her friends, which didn't help.
armyadarkness
Royal Corn
It's obvious that you're in need of some help. What kind? Could be a support group ,a pet, or take on an activity... a bicycle group, a gym, volunteer, something.
Humans are social and you need interaction in order to be healthy. It's not going to be an over-night fix.
In this forum you'll find valuable friendship, guidance, and advice, but these things arent adequate substitutes for an incomplete life.
You seem to like writing, so start making a few lists, prioritize, and then plan.
- What's your family situation?
- Housing?
- Employment?
- Health?
- Finances?
This forum is a great place to be for people who wish to help themselves, but if you've already accepted defeat, then you'll never find real happiness, anywhere.
armyadarkness
Royal Corn
Then you need to do the same thing. True, we're no strangers here to adversity and troubles, but we're also a group of people "trying to figure it all out" and improve it.
It concerns me when I here a lot about problems, but never anything about solutions.
You're both extremely intelligent and contain a ton of knowledge. I hope you're both putting that to work for yourselves? Both of you should be enjoying success.
An0maly_76
Survivor Corn
Family - Surrounded by people who refuse to believe my situation is what it truly is, no matter what I tell them.
Housing - Living with my elderly father
Employment - Cannot work due to severe allergies, respiratory conditions and general inability to focus on tasks. Being outdoors requires a mask and I can't do so for very long.
Health - Taking the trash out gets me wheezing at times.
Finances - Are you serious?
No offense, army, but I think you're kind of missing the point here. With head injuries, and autism, intelligence means very little. In my case, and I suspect dedpool's (head injuries can often have the same effect), it's not that easy, and it's not about accepting defeat. That's part of the problem I have with my family, they insist that because I can function normally some of the time, I shouldn't have any problem functioning any time I want. That's not how autism works, and the idea that it does is ableism, especially when regression is involved, which I believe to be part of my situation. My father insists that I just need to "train" my brain or keep my mind on what I'm doing, but these aren't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get over it" Dr. Phil-type situations.
I make that reference because it seems like my father has Dr. Phil on every time I come through the living room. While I appreciate the sentiment that he might think he's looking for a solution to my issues (or maybe just trying to find a way to justify selling the house and leaving me to my own devices without appearing a jerk), there really is no 'fixing' autism -- you just have to deal with it the best way you can, which for some of us, we really have no control.
Point blank, imagine you have a gorgeous '04 GTO, fully loaded. Test drive goes okay, but a few months after you buy it, you start noticing strange things. The car doesn't track right at times... Stalling, sputtering... Transmission randomly doesn't go into gear or goes the opposite direction you select. Logically, you'll find in this situation that framework may need straightening in addition to parts that need replacing, and one of those parts is likely PCM (Powertrain Control Module). Easy enough on a machine. However, you can't just replace a human brain.
Autism is a lot like that, and head injuries can be the same way. There are neurodevelopmental issues where a person might chronologically be forty years old, but various parts of the brain have not developed beyond this age or that age. These developmental issues affect focus, retention and executive function, meaning we have a hard time learning and executing new routines. And regression, a related condition, can make these issues worse as we get older. There is no cure. All we can do is try to remind ourselves of things we forget, but if executive function is affected severely enough, you're kind of pissing up a rope. And people who can't be bothered with us only make us feel useless.
You should check this out...
https://www.luminouscounseling.org/blog/understanding-the-3-different-levels-of-adult-autism/
I'm pretty sure I'm either 2 or borderline 2/3.
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armyadarkness
Royal Corn
Well to give you some background, I'm 53 and the single parent of a 32-year old, autistic child. I broke my back and pelvic bone in 4 places in 1993, shouldnt have lived, shouldnt be walking. And I just emerged from a 15-year, heated battle against the state attorney general, who was my employer.
So... without me getting into my psychotic, pill-popping, abusive ex wive, abusive father, and addicted mother (and those are my close family)...
I'm not trying to undermine your situation, Im trying to establish that there are positives in EVERY situation, and I have yet to hear yours. And likewise, no offense, but if you were content with your situation, you wouldnt be mentioning it here, and since you are, you need to expect and accept the fact that the good people around you are going to try and help.
Also, just because you were born into your family, doesn't mean that they are "great" or that they're who you should be surrounding yourself with.
All that glitters is not gold. Although you would not want to walk a mile in my shoes, based on what you've told me, I'm deeply saddened by what sounds like a horrible situation for you. However, the fact remains, you're alive, intelligent, and capable of making friends, so I suspect that there are assets you have, despite the fact that they may not be the ones you desire.
So, now Im going to do something that I NEVER do, and give generic advice. If you;re asking "why bother even being here", and you're telling me that it's too late for you, then maybe you're here to help someone else, who it's not too late for.
So... without me getting into my psychotic, pill-popping, abusive ex wive, abusive father, and addicted mother (and those are my close family)...
I'm not trying to undermine your situation, Im trying to establish that there are positives in EVERY situation, and I have yet to hear yours. And likewise, no offense, but if you were content with your situation, you wouldnt be mentioning it here, and since you are, you need to expect and accept the fact that the good people around you are going to try and help.
Also, just because you were born into your family, doesn't mean that they are "great" or that they're who you should be surrounding yourself with.
All that glitters is not gold. Although you would not want to walk a mile in my shoes, based on what you've told me, I'm deeply saddened by what sounds like a horrible situation for you. However, the fact remains, you're alive, intelligent, and capable of making friends, so I suspect that there are assets you have, despite the fact that they may not be the ones you desire.
So, now Im going to do something that I NEVER do, and give generic advice. If you;re asking "why bother even being here", and you're telling me that it's too late for you, then maybe you're here to help someone else, who it's not too late for.
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armyadarkness
Royal Corn
This isn't your average forum. If you come in here with problems, people are going to want to know about them and try to help... and you just might find yourself needing to help someone else. There are several people in here now, in desperate need of guidance and friendship.
Especially when the dog eats tinsel.......
I told you he was some kind of doctor ....O what if you wrote a book on your trucking experiences or do computer game ratings maybe that would be good therapy ...idk I just ramble with half ass ideas most of the time so don't take me to seriously, but were here for you anyhow don't forget
....O what if you wrote a book on your trucking experiences or do computer game ratings maybe that would be good therapy ...idk I just ramble with half ass ideas most of the time so don't take me to seriously, but were here for you anyhow don't forget
An0maly_76
Survivor Corn
Fact #1 - The murder mystery I wrote and e-published on Kindle has yet to cover $400 of initial advertising costs.
Fact #2 - This is largely due to heavy piracy.
Fact #3 - This piracy is due to people paying $60 for gourmet coffee reading a book they refuse to pay $3 for.
Fact #4 - Initial findings show that this piracy cheated me out of at least $100,000 in royalties.
Fact #5 - The book has gotten good reviews, so it's not because the book is bad.
Fact #6 - The book took me six years to write.
Fact #7 - YouTube requires 10,000 views before considering monetization.
Fact #8 - Between PC and straw-grabbing 'piracy' and 'copyright claims' if you even listen to the radio in the background, YT is a gauntlet of BS.
Fact #9 - I'm lucky if I can remember what I'm doing long enough to successfully edit a video to a proper finished product.
Fact #10 - Equipment issues are still hindering my attempts to even record quality footage.
Fact #11 - Motor skill issues are just as prevalent as focus, retention and executive function issues.
Fact #12 - I have severe allergies and asthma that mean I require cool, filtered air and cannot be outdoors any more than necessary.
Fact #13 - This also means I require a mask whenever outdoors or in public.
Fact #14 - Smoke and vapes can trigger my asthma from 100 feet away, and it has the potential to be lethal.
Fact #15 - Smoking within 20 feet of any entrance or exit is against state law here.
Fact #16 - Establishments largely ignore this law and encourage people to violate it by placing butt stub towers right outside entrances and exits.
Fact #17 - Anything with a strong chemical smell is like mustard gas to me.
Fact #18 - I had to give up a career I loved and even my fallback because of all this.
Fact #19 - Even taking the trash out gets me winded and wheezing. My last DIY oil change took over an hour and destroyed me for 2 hours.
Fact #20 - 99.99% of people act like it's not their problem, even when their own actions create the problem.
So, if anyone sees a positive in all this I can use to advance my position, please feel free to jump in any time.
Fact #2 - This is largely due to heavy piracy.
Fact #3 - This piracy is due to people paying $60 for gourmet coffee reading a book they refuse to pay $3 for.
Fact #4 - Initial findings show that this piracy cheated me out of at least $100,000 in royalties.
Fact #5 - The book has gotten good reviews, so it's not because the book is bad.
Fact #6 - The book took me six years to write.
Fact #7 - YouTube requires 10,000 views before considering monetization.
Fact #8 - Between PC and straw-grabbing 'piracy' and 'copyright claims' if you even listen to the radio in the background, YT is a gauntlet of BS.
Fact #9 - I'm lucky if I can remember what I'm doing long enough to successfully edit a video to a proper finished product.
Fact #10 - Equipment issues are still hindering my attempts to even record quality footage.
Fact #11 - Motor skill issues are just as prevalent as focus, retention and executive function issues.
Fact #12 - I have severe allergies and asthma that mean I require cool, filtered air and cannot be outdoors any more than necessary.
Fact #13 - This also means I require a mask whenever outdoors or in public.
Fact #14 - Smoke and vapes can trigger my asthma from 100 feet away, and it has the potential to be lethal.
Fact #15 - Smoking within 20 feet of any entrance or exit is against state law here.
Fact #16 - Establishments largely ignore this law and encourage people to violate it by placing butt stub towers right outside entrances and exits.
Fact #17 - Anything with a strong chemical smell is like mustard gas to me.
Fact #18 - I had to give up a career I loved and even my fallback because of all this.
Fact #19 - Even taking the trash out gets me winded and wheezing. My last DIY oil change took over an hour and destroyed me for 2 hours.
Fact #20 - 99.99% of people act like it's not their problem, even when their own actions create the problem.
So, if anyone sees a positive in all this I can use to advance my position, please feel free to jump in any time.
An0, My sister got diagnosed with lung cancer recently after escaping breast cancer
For a couple years, now she cannot do radiation because of the previous treatments, so just chemo is it, all her hair is gone,and its terminal, still I have no doubt she would trade with you , you gotta remember its all relative,
Its always worse in other places, I also believe we all keep coming back to balance and experience things here,some trips back are not fun , but some are,then one day we do not return, and it all gets better, much better
For a couple years, now she cannot do radiation because of the previous treatments, so just chemo is it, all her hair is gone,and its terminal, still I have no doubt she would trade with you , you gotta remember its all relative,
Its always worse in other places, I also believe we all keep coming back to balance and experience things here,some trips back are not fun , but some are,then one day we do not return, and it all gets better, much better
So sorry to hear thatAn0, My sister got diagnosed with lung cancer recently after escaping breast cancer
For a couple years, now she cannot do radiation because of the previous treatments, so just chemo is it, all her hair is gone,and its terminal, still I have no doubt she would trade with you , you gotta remember its all relative,
Its always worse in other places, I also believe we all keep coming back to balance and experience things here,some trips back are not fun , but some are,then one day we do not return, and it all gets better, much better
An0maly_76
Survivor Corn
I really am sorry to hear about your sister, Jetz. I don't pretend to know her circumstance, but while I've seen people do it to themselves, there are indeed those that don't. I watched two very close friends go out with Stage 4, one of them after a year of remission. They did it to themselves with years of smoking, and at least one of them owned it. But both knew that smoking around me bothered me, and did it anyway, which played no small part in advancing my condition. The first one to go, months before his remission reversed, he began to develop the same sensitivity to smoke that I have. Only then did he apologize (profusely) for adding to my suffering. No one seems to understand (or care about) the issues they cause someone else until they get a taste of their own medicine. It really is sad.
It cut to the bone to see them fading away, because both of them I considered brothers. But something to be considered is that the issues I have can kill you at any time, but prefer to to play with you and string out the suffering much longer than cancer ever could. I've been suffering with the more severe symptoms of asthma and allergies for nearly thirty years. Not to mention it was aggravated in part by secondhand smoke and was completely preventable, if certain people would start showing some respect for others' health.
I want to be clear here, I'm not saying in any way, shape or form that no one has it worse than me. I never have. And jetz, your sister might trade with me, until she learned what she had to deal with from my family, who insists they know everything and that my issues can't possibly be as severe as they are. They simply don't listen to hear me, they listen to reply, and that keeps me from telling them the full scope of what's going on, because if I don't get it out without interruption, I forget portions of what I meant to say. With no escape, mind you, I can't go where I want, I can't do what I want, and I can't work, which means I have no income. So you see, there's no end or resolution to my situation. I basically have to deal with a relative who treats me like an inconvenience and minimizes my condition by dismissing it as excuses, taking my dependency on them for living arrangements as license to belittle the slightest input from me.
I may actually have COPD, as my peak lung flow is around 45-55% of normal without the nebulizer treatments that I can't seem to remember to keep up with. Not to minimize your sister's condition, Jetz, but having watched another close friend go out with COPD as well, to me, it is cancer without the actual cancer. It can kill you just as quickly, but often doesn't, and I can tell you it's certainly not much difference in the suffering. And when people act like my issues are not as serious as they are, when they have no idea what it is like living with them, it really drives me insane, like my life is a bowl of cherries or something -- it's not. Sure, someone always has it worse, but that doesn't make my issues any less serious.
And it hasn't been established whether my condition is more severe asthma, COPD, or possibly Sensory Processing Disorder (basically, your brain interprets signals from your senses incorrectly and causes certain overreactions or underreactions in the nervous system. Which is related to ASD / Asperger's). Mostly because the first pulmonologist I saw (one of two who put me under doctor's orders not to return to trucking) retired immediately following my followup without telling me, and none of the pulmonologists I've seen since are really listening to me or taking me seriously.
It cut to the bone to see them fading away, because both of them I considered brothers. But something to be considered is that the issues I have can kill you at any time, but prefer to to play with you and string out the suffering much longer than cancer ever could. I've been suffering with the more severe symptoms of asthma and allergies for nearly thirty years. Not to mention it was aggravated in part by secondhand smoke and was completely preventable, if certain people would start showing some respect for others' health.
I want to be clear here, I'm not saying in any way, shape or form that no one has it worse than me. I never have. And jetz, your sister might trade with me, until she learned what she had to deal with from my family, who insists they know everything and that my issues can't possibly be as severe as they are. They simply don't listen to hear me, they listen to reply, and that keeps me from telling them the full scope of what's going on, because if I don't get it out without interruption, I forget portions of what I meant to say. With no escape, mind you, I can't go where I want, I can't do what I want, and I can't work, which means I have no income. So you see, there's no end or resolution to my situation. I basically have to deal with a relative who treats me like an inconvenience and minimizes my condition by dismissing it as excuses, taking my dependency on them for living arrangements as license to belittle the slightest input from me.
I may actually have COPD, as my peak lung flow is around 45-55% of normal without the nebulizer treatments that I can't seem to remember to keep up with. Not to minimize your sister's condition, Jetz, but having watched another close friend go out with COPD as well, to me, it is cancer without the actual cancer. It can kill you just as quickly, but often doesn't, and I can tell you it's certainly not much difference in the suffering. And when people act like my issues are not as serious as they are, when they have no idea what it is like living with them, it really drives me insane, like my life is a bowl of cherries or something -- it's not. Sure, someone always has it worse, but that doesn't make my issues any less serious.
And it hasn't been established whether my condition is more severe asthma, COPD, or possibly Sensory Processing Disorder (basically, your brain interprets signals from your senses incorrectly and causes certain overreactions or underreactions in the nervous system. Which is related to ASD / Asperger's). Mostly because the first pulmonologist I saw (one of two who put me under doctor's orders not to return to trucking) retired immediately following my followup without telling me, and none of the pulmonologists I've seen since are really listening to me or taking me seriously.
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You're on the good side of the dirt.
You are a part of the Scroti© family.
Life can be beautiful even when it seems darkest.
armyadarkness
Royal Corn
Amen... I often find myself contemplating what the purpose of living is, but you try explaining that to anyone who just watched me sing and play three sets, through the best gear money can buy, and then driving away in a 67 GTO with CG.
Seeing and hearing about others, with serious ailments, is what SHOULD be keeping us all in check. Unfortunately, the average American could give a fuck less about anything, except themselves.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
FTFY
armyadarkness
Royal Corn
- I hope I'm around when you realize that every one of us could make the same post.
- I hope I'm around when you make your first post about "what you do have going for you".
None of it worked and the doctors had no answers, so they forced me to go back yo work. All the while, my employer was harassing me, diabolically and daily. They invaded every crevice of my life and home. I had to defend myself because I mortgaged my house to pay an attorney, who took my money and left town.
I had no peace, ever.
Then I started drinking apple cider vinegar every day, and within two weeks, my health issues were completely cured.
In January of 2022, twelve years later, I beat all of those people who harassed me and tried to destroy me. If I chose to, I could send them all to jail.
No one is expecting you to be okay with your issues, just because others may be worse off, but we're all here, waiting for you to tell us what you wish you could do, what you can do, and what you're going to do about your situation.
As Ive already mentioned, you're intelligent, but now Im convinced that you're not using that to your advantage.
You're not going to find anyone here who's going to say "you're fucked bro"... However, my personal opinion is that you you wont get help if you're not willing to help yourself. Seems to me that you're missing a golden opportunity, but since I do respect your right to live your life how you see fit, I will stop trying to give advice.
armyadarkness
Royal Corn
I don't think he has learned this yet. People are so used to no one giving a shit, that they forget how to recognize someone when they do.