I should not...

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ponchonlefty

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LBS-bass said:
Nah, I've got enough to worry about managing my own band. He can do what he wants; what happens with me in situations like this is that I begin to see what kind of writing is on the wall and my enthusiasm wanes. I have reason to suspect he won't be in town for that much longer, so there's little point in worrying about the future of this band. But I do very much enjoy playing with him and with the other musicians he's brought together. On stage this is the most fun band I've ever been in.

The point here is we're not talking about someone who is inexperienced. Yes, he's a good sideman, and he has been a sideman to some great acts through the years, so there's no questioning that. He's allowed to have his own band if he wants to and I'm allowed to make my own choices about how involved I want to be.

I think that as a leader he makes some questionable decisions; many of them affect me. He's not a great singer. I sing well, but he doesn't take advantage of that- most don't, because they feel threatened by it. I understand that but I had higher hopes for this than what I ended up getting because he didn't initially strike me as the type to be so ego-involved. He could have polished this act up quite a bit and attracted a lot of cheap applause by adding more songs for me, but he didn't do it.

I also have several decades of experience arranging vocals but he prefers to arrange his own backing vocals and does just as you'd imagine a non-singer would. There's no creative collaboration with his original material, he has it in his head how he wants it and that's how it is. My job as his sideman is to give him what he wants. I may disagree with some of his decisions but they aren't hills to die on. It's what he wants, and that's ok. But it's more years I don't have to waste not singing when I really don't have that many years left to get that out there. So I'm not going to sit around forever but I'm going to have to create my own opportunity there if I want it to happen.
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yes, you do have a great voice and its a shame you don't sing as much. bands are a lot more complicated than i realized. is it possible to just to do your own thing? maybe take a leap and see if you can fly.
 
LBS-bass

LBS-bass

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ponchonlefty said:
yes, you do have a great voice and its a shame you don't sing as much. bands are a lot more complicated than i realized. is it possible to just to do your own thing? maybe take a leap and see if you can fly.
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I've leapt and flown plenty in the past; I've been avoiding the work of putting something together for myself because I know how hard it is, and I am terribly busy as a bassist nowadays. But what I have been hoping for, which is a significant nod in my direction by someone who might recognize the value a good voice brings to the table, is not really happening. Instead people seem fearful that I will take the spotlight away from them.

I am in one band in which we share vocal duties, but even that band has one dedicated singer who doesn't play an instrument, and if there are no harmonies for him to sing, it's awkward. The music we do isn't anything that I'd choose to showcase my vocal abilities, as well. So it's a bit too little for what I'd like to accomplish before I'm too old to do this anymore.

That leaves me with the choice to put together something of my own, which is, I suppose, what I'll need to do. Since I suspect this other band isn't going to last, it's a logical next step, because it's likely I'll have more time. First step is to put together a list of songs i want to do, learn the ones I don't already know, and brush up the ones I do know. Second step is finding other players to work with. That's the challenging part because I'm really picky.
 
soulman

soulman

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Wish I lived nearby. It would be fun to work something up with you.

As for the singer in the other band. He could just exit the stage for a bit. I've done that before when my role was secondary to "the guy whose name was on the door". If there were no harmonies to sing and he was on his acoustic it made little sense for me to also be playing mine so I'd just step out while that part of the set took place then return on cue when it was my turn again. Worked out fine for us.
 
LBS-bass

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soulman said:
Wish I lived nearby. It would be fun to work something up with you.

As for the singer in the other band. He could just exit the stage for a bit. I've done that before when my role was secondary to "the guy whose name was on the door". If there were no harmonies to sing and he was on his acoustic it made little sense for me to also be playing mine so I'd just step out while that part of the set took place then return on cue when it was my turn again. Worked out fine for us.
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He seems to find that a difficult concept. It's been suggested but the next suggestion is always "why don't we just find a different song?"
 
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